When is the right time for a new pet after a loss?

I often get asked the question about when is the right time to get a new pet after a loss.

When a pet dies, it’s important to allow time to process and grieve before getting a new pet, as a person must be ready for a new relationship. For some people it feels like a betrayal to get a new pet if not enough time is given to mourn the death. A person must recognize that they cannot replace the pet and once they have reached this place in healing, they are likely more ready for a new pet. If a new pet is brought into the bereaved person’s life too soon, this can have negative effects on the pet and the bereaved, who has not yet found resolution. The new pet may get negative attention because it cannot fill the void and emptiness left by the deceased pet. It may be helpful to remove reminders or favorite toys of the old pet, once a new one is brought home. Establishing a relationship and new routines with a new pet will help this pet create it’s own identity in your life.

Sometimes having a new pet can help ease the healing process as it can offer comfort in a transitional time. It’s important for the bereaved pet owner to allow his/her own process to take place and to trust his/her own feelings despite what others may advise. Well-meaning people who do not fully understand the depth of the loss may be quick to suggest getting a new pet, but only the bereaved knows when he/she is ready. I would recommend that a bereaved respond to the advice of others by simply saying something like “thank you for your suggestion and concern, but I think I just have to trust my gut instinct and I’ll know when I’m ready.”

If you are struggling with the loss of a pet, I offer pet loss counseling. Learn more »